THE STRUGGLE

"I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate." Romans 7:15

Last weekend I started a show on Netflix. I had just finished running some errands, so while I ate, I decided to enjoy a few minutes of Netflix. It's been 5 days now, and I am still struggling to tear myself from the screen. In my defense (howbeit weak), I thought It was going to be a cheesy show that I would get bored with after one episode. It turned out to be a telenovela.  So, here we are, on day 5. Sigh.

For the past few nights, as I shut my laptop at a little over 1am with heavy eyes and a slight headache from too much screen time, I ask myself, was it worth it? 
Of course, it is not worth it. Besides eating into my sleep time, the headache, and the obsessive thoughts from the show, my time alone with God has also been affected. 

Even when I know better, when I tell myself just this last episode, I still find myself clicking the 'next episode' button. Imagine all those hours spent on Netflix being spent with God instead? Imagine how profitable that would be to my spirit.

"I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate." Romans 7:15

Who else can relate with Paul here? Paul's struggle in Romans 7:15 is every believer's struggle. It is the struggle between the flesh and the spirit. 

As a Christian, I grew up knowing I would have to choose between apparent good/evil, life/death, and godly/evil decisions.  However, as I grow older, I realize the everyday struggles are in the areas that are neither black nor white. Like, should I watch one more episode of Netflix or call it a night? Should I fast today I have food in the fridge or fast when I have nothing in the fridge? Should I wrap up this chat and spend more time with God or just stick to the 30mins allotted God's time?

This morning I woke up feeling guilty for the productive hours I have lost indulging my flesh, but then Galatians 5:17 reminded me that struggle is constant. Today it may have been Netflix, but the next minute it could be something else. For as long as we are still in this earthly body, the flesh will continue to strive with the spirit. No, do not despair. Do not throw in the towel and give in to the flesh. Sometimes I am disappointed in myself too, mostly in those moments I know better but fail to do better. 

"So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves." Galatians 5:16

We will only win this struggle by letting the Holy Spirit help and guide us, for by our own strength, we can do nothing. 

Here is to daily yielding to the Holy Spirit and daily putting to death the flesh. Till next time, remain rooted in HIM :)

Related Scriptures:
Galatians 5:16-17, Romans 6:19, James 4:1, I Peter 2:11, Romans 12:1, Romans 8:13, Galations 5:19-21, Romans 8:6-7, Galations 5:24, Romans 7:18, Matthew 26:41.